Better Without Me?
by Gamzee-Banana
Summary: Gamzee has been moving from place to place unable to find a place to call his own. Why? There are things that he cannot control about himself that slip up. Maybe this next place will be different? Gamkar, rated M for language and future smut if this thing goes anywhere.
1. Prelude

Blood, so much blood. It's everywhere. Everywhere...

Why is there all this blood? What happened? My heart is racing. What happened?

It's coming from... Me? No. Not me... But, then why is it...all over me? I don't remember anything. I walk forward in the dark trying to find something. Some sign of what had happened. I trip suddenly and fall on my stomach grunting softly.

Wet. Warm and wet. A bit sticky. What the hell did I just trip on? I look over my shoulder and squint my eyes making out an object of some sort.

I feel sick suddenly.

No.

Nonononono.

Oh fuck. Please tell me I'm dreaming.

"N-Nep?" I ask in a wavering voice feeling everything around me start to crumble.

Wait. If she's here then Equius isn't far behind. Or, was. Where is he? I look around my heart racing inside my chest. I see him.

Not how I wanted to. No. Not him too. Not again. Oh shit.

"No..." Hot tears start to roll down my face as I lay there in my friends blood. I'm shaking violently and suddenly I throw up, acid burning the back of my throat.

This isn't the first time this has happened. Won't be the last.

That's what makes it worse I think.

Nothing can stop it.

They can put me in a fucking ward and I'll get out somehow. Problem is, I can't remember how.

I look over at the small girl who is lying dead next to me because of the fuckong disorder I have.

How have they not just killed me already? It would be so much better on society if they did.

They'll find the bodies in...maybe three days? I'm not sure where I am so that's my best guess. They'll find me in... I don't know, maybe a week or so.

"I'm sorry Nep. I'm sorry Equius..." I mumble out before getting up on shaky legs and walking away. Like I said. Not the first time it's happened. Won't be the last.

I've become almost indifferent to it now. It makes me sick.

Well, I better hurry up and get out of here before my emotions do set in and I can't move.

**OK. So. Hi! This is kinda just a test subject to see if anyone likes this or seems interested, if so then I'll continue with it but if not then I won't do anything with it. So, this is my first fic on here! Yay! Well, teaser trailer of sorts. So yeah! I hope you enjoy!**


	2. Where the fuck am I now?

**Ok guys, so that was almost like a teaser chapter, and now the story will actually start, I didn't mention this before, but this is a Humanstuck, so I'm sorry if you don't care for it! A also, due to distractions, I may not be able to update my story too often, and I apologize if anyone is OOC. But here we go!**

God damnit, where the fuck am I this time? I look around and now I'm in a city. I have my usual pack on my shoulders and I can't seem to find anywhere that seems familiar. How far did I travel? It couldn't have been too far right? I started out in California, now where am I? It's not as sunny that's for damn sure. But hey, no one will recognise me here right? A new start would be nice. Again. And who knows? Maybe this time I can overcome whatever the motherfuck is goin' on in my think pan.

_Unlikely :o)_

Yeah. Probably. I haven't always been this way, at least, from what I can remember... I vaguely remember my childhood, all I remember is that I was usually lonely. Maybe that's why I'm like this? That's what the shrinks that had, key word, HAD watched over me said. Then, like with everyone else, they either gave up on me, or I simply killed them when I wasn't exactly me.

Maybe this time, it'll be different... I finally see a sign and it says I'm in Washington State. Jesus Christ, I traveled that motherfuckin far in- wait? How many days has it been? It's not like I have a cellphone since that would make it easier to find me and I literally have no one. Absolutely no one to talk to. Especially since I just killed off my only friends...

I travel for about six more hours when I finally really start getting tired and hungry. Not to mention my mouth is as dry as a motherfuckin desert. I look around glad I still have cash on me and I find a small convenience store that is, let's be honest, anything but convenient. I check around looking to see if I can find somethin' to quench my thirst and I smile when my eyes land on a familiar color but sadly not the shit I'm looking for. I look everywhere and not a single motherfuckin bottle of Faygo in this shit hole. See what I mean about it not being convenient like the name suggests? Fuck, I end up settling for a bottle of Fanta not liking the stuff nearly as much, but at least it will hold me over till I can find some of my drink... After buying this crap they call soda, I walk out the opened door into the overcast area, I sit down against the wall of the store and I pop open my drink looking around. "Where am I now?" I ask myself softly really wondering about it now. I look across the street and see the City Hall. This is a city? What the fuck? Pacific, Washington. Well, I don't know where it is but it's somewhere at least. It's not California either, so... that's miraculous. I walk around the city and really don't know why it's called that, it's smaller than most towns, and there aren't any hotels that aren't about a mile away. The place seems nice though, calm, and at least I haven't heard my other self talkin shit since I got here.

There aren't many people here I've noticed, I like that. There's not too much traffic on these roads, that's nice too. Everyone seems friendly enou- no, wait, not him... I end up having to walk to the King Oscar Hotel not too far from the small store I stopped at, and I checked in knowing I'll have to come up with something more permanent than this. Especially if I plan on staying for a while.

The room I'm staying in is small but cozy, I decide to go right to sleep so I can get out early tomorrow and look for a place to stay, and possibly... a place to see a shrink...

**OK so, I'm sorry with how slow it is right now! But I promise once he gets settled in and starts doing things it'll get into the swing of things and if not in the next chapter, the one after it for sure Karkat will be introduced, so yay! Thanks for reading! I hope you stick around for a little longer ;w;**


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